I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
