wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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