i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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