So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
