I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize