you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
being pregnant is like rehab
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
