i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize
