I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
