Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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