Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it glows. i had to have it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
