there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
