Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
