he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
