woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
