Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
