If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
