ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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