Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
