She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
