Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
