exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
