Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize