The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
