yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
