i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
pop tarts are not kleenex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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