Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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