Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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