Umm I'm too high to move.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
