you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
