Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
