I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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