her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
