Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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