If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize