try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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