you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
