we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
