she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize