areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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