We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
