i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
