Your tits are I can't wait for
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
