chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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