I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
PANTIES FOUND
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