Umm I'm too high to move.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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