I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
