so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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