last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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