"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
