my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
