i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
