I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
dude. I can hear the air.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
