im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
