yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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