My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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