do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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