R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
