You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
