Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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