My first STD was from a foam party
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When are your genitals available?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
