then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't put those talents on a resume
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
