Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
