I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
